Labour Day Revival: Where the fuck was I and what the fuck was I doing!

Dear Readers,

Okay there’s no excuse for depriving people of there regular dose of off-the-roof humour and scathing sarcasm for almost one-fourth of the calender year! ‘People’ in the above sentence includes both people who have loved this blog and people who have hated this blog.(FYI Buddha lied. There’s no middle path. Not with The Pyjama Warrior at least. You either love it badly or hate it even more badly.)
People who’ve adored me with ‘awesome’, ‘phaadu’, ‘baap’ and other cool tags and people who’ve called me things I didn’t know even existed. Eg: ‘The shit from a dead spineless chihuahua’!!! Girls who asked me out(very very rare) and guys who threatened to cut off my Johnny and throw it to the vultures(very very frequent). People from all corners of this country and from many countries of this world. People without whom this blog would be in a very neglected and dismal state, pretty much like all the Indian sports except cricket. In fact cricket too!

And now that I’m done sucking your scrotum, let me get back to what I’m very very good at!

January was going to be a critical point in my professional life! Wait, I just made it sound a lot more critical than it was! 😛 It’s just that CAT results were going to be out, and it would pretty much decide whether I was going to be on my way to achieve the stereotype that everyone in my near, distant and extremely distant family had dreamed of since my birth or whether I was going to slog it out for an MNC in Bangalore! So, from my perspective in either case I was not exactly going to do what I wanted to do. Anyhow, I scored a measly 97.42 and  before you go ahead and bash me for my nerdiness, let me get your facts right.
Fact 1: This is India we are talking about people. A country full of kids who’ve spent their childhoods and teenage towards the sole purpose of achieving higher marks. They compete with each other and when they have no else left to beat, they study the shit out of themselves!
Fact 2: For anyone born before 1980, MBA in India implicitly means MBA from an IIM,preferably from the older ones(BLACKI). So if you are looking for a ‘socially acceptable’ MBA degree, and a good spouse later on, you have to slug it out for a 1000 odd seats with lakhs of those nerdy-self-destructing kids mentioned above. And 50% of those seats are already ‘reserved’.
Fact 3:  Suddenly from this year, MBA colleges decided they were going to play hard to get. The words ‘general’, ‘male’, ‘fresher’  and ‘engineer’ actually turned out to be the four horseman of apocalypse!

So the measly 97.42 raised a few hopes and a lot many eyebrows. The next 8-10 days were spent in damage control- explaining to every uncle and aunty on this planet how the ‘system’ works, detailing all the options I had in sight (running away being one of them!!). I ingested a lot of belittling and farted a lot of frustration during that period. But ultimately in my foresight I could see that all this would seem okay in hindsight one day.

The CAT fiasco took a back seat and I celebrated being 23. The celebration was actually a ‘pain in the ass’, both literally and figuratively, if you know what I mean. And streaks of gray hair have started making their presence felt (damn!). But then unlike growing old, growing up is always optional!

If January was a downer, February turned out to be a complete bitch! With the writer’s block aggravating with each passing day, I could now sense the impatience that was building up inside me. I just wanted post something. But thanks to all the fans and their expectations, I would press the delete moment right before the last paragraph. You see, nothing short of amazing for you, sires and ma’ams! On the other hand, one of the silliest ‘Day’ on this planet was lurking around the corner. I can’t ever reason out why anyone besides greeting card companies, jewelers and condom manufacturers should be so upbeat about a day that claims to have brought upon mankind it’s biggest plague-love. Anyway, V-Day came and went, the only thing I felt bad about was not getting laid when even my hostel dog Sheru made it out with the bitch that lives in the slums behind the college! Guess that the proverb ‘Every dog has it’s day’ is really exclusively meant for dogs! The old bastard had been eyeing her for quite a while now, and finally, probably over some licks of beer from the trashed Tuborg cans and some canine vows of ‘forever together’ (in canine years) made his move on her. Attaboy!

The later half of February and the entier March were spent in the ‘Great MBA affair’! Interviews, interviews and then some more interviews. In this period, I made several visits to Kolkata, my favourite city! After my previous post in which I poured my heart out about Bengalis, I was afraid I might be stabbed at the Howrah station itself, or thrown off the Howrah Bridge into the river. Hence, I made it a point to keep all my visits under tight wraps! (I shall be writing about these trips in detail in a later post.)

April 3 needs a special mention now. On this day, I achieved what I had been vying for for the past 1 year or more. A seat at the prestigious Mudra Institute of Communications Ahmedabad. And so finally, I’m en route to to realizing my dream of being a kick-ass ad-maker! Cheers to that!

The rest of the month was spent in (not) preparing for the last engineering based exams of my life! I (did not) study with utter determination and concentration and I (do not) hope to come out with flying colours. Yeah right, like I give a fart to that!

And now here I am. Finally, coming back to what I really enjoy! With a hell lot of spare time ahead, and some big plans about the future of this blog up my pyjamas, all you readers can really expect a great reading experience in store!

Yours sarcastically,

The Pyjama Warrior.


15 thoughts on “Labour Day Revival: Where the fuck was I and what the fuck was I doing!”

  1. That’s awesome man.. Congrats on a seat in Mudra Institute of Communications…. happy you chose what you liked rather that follow your high scores… pretty cool.
    Btw your scores are sure a shocker… 97..pretty kickass.

    And you really have understood the Indian mentality of students for sure…You got all your facts 100% right! 😛

    really looking forward to your future posts.. about your trips to Kolkata n all : ) : )
    Post when you can bro.. Cheers!


  2. Pyjama man,

    The worst part of all this must have been explaining to people why and how a 97 is not good enough. lol. Been there, done that. Super happy you’re back to kicking ass/writing. Amda’BAD beckons, SindBAD 😀

    1. Gabbar yaar it was like I was Juno in ‘Juno’! 😛 I bet if I asked anyone of those uncles to take a shot at CAT, all the fart coming out of their mouth would reroute to their assholes!
      And yes, Ghaziabad>Dhanbad>Ahmedabad! One BAD journey! 😉 😛

  3. Finally, breaking the writer’s block with a kickass post!
    You make your four months sound like such a fun roller-coaster ride 🙂
    Happy to knw you plan to write regularly now 😛

  4. A crisp piece there!!! and i love ur ishtyle ( if i have not told u already!!!:P). All your write-up’s are so damn good.. so keep posting dude… ( even if u think that are not that good..!!) M sure people here have a different opinion.. Looking forward to more of this!!
    P.S:- Ur blog definately makes me want to write.. only to realise aapke jaisa “talent” kahan!:D Keep it up!!:)

    1. A crisp piece there!!! and i love ur ishtyle ( if i have not told u already!!!:P). All your write-up’s are so damn good.. so keep posting dude… ( even if u think that are not that good..!!) M sure people here have a different opinion.. Looking forward to more of this!!
      P.S:- Ur blog definately makes me want to write.. only to realise aapke jaisa “talent” kahan!:D Keep it up!!:)

  5. Hey Varun,

    I knew that you are good (read best) in what-so-ever you do but you writing amazed me a lot. Much better than so many indian writers who claim themselves “star novelists”. Got a chance to read almost all your blogs in the time which i spared from my office work. Thank god this site is not blocked here.

    Wishing you all the best for everything you do in future.

    Take Car,

  6. I see that congratulations are in order….good job….with ur creativity i’m sure u r a better fit in MICA than any of the engineering, number crunchers dominated IIMs ( i know i am trying to guess ur skills by the blog u write, but give me that leeway, considering how many engineers actually write something other than their class notes and exams)
    Trust me when i say in know the pain of explaining to relatives what 97%ile means. my first attempt of CAT in 4th yr of undergrad while at IIT-G was 98.19%ile. I made it to IIM-K in second attempt (post 4th yr) with 99.89%ile.
    But the pain never goes. If your relatives now see BLACKI as holy grail, its ABC for us in the second tier IIMs. So, while i was in IIT-G the questions were, “didnt u get into IIT – B, M, D, Kanpur or Kharagpur. Now that i made it into IIM-K, the questions are, “what happened ? why didnt u get into IIM – A, B or C ?”
    i cant explain to everybody that getting into ABC doesnt guarantee a 30lac p.a. job in an Goldman Sachs and getting into K doesnt mean that i’d end up with State Bank of Travancore. I cant explain that GS comes to IIM-K too and SBI goes to IIM-A too.

    Anyway, keep up the good work and keep the enthu going. If you are genuinely skilled and talented, It really doesnt matter what are the alphabets in the acronym of the institute

  7. Loved this one!! Congratulations for MICA! 🙂

    Can’t wait for your upcoming articles about Kolkata and your take on Bongs!!

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