The A-Z of ISM Dhanbad

A- Aloo

The staple food ingredient of every student-mess of our college. I think if I were able to stack all the potatoes that I’ve seen people consuming in the past 4 years, it would easily surpass Burj Dubai in height.

B- Bakchodi aka BC

The favourite past time of every ISMite. If Tbc be the time spent in bakchodi and Ts, Tec, To  be the times spent in studies, extracurricular activities and other activities combined, then

Tbc = 10(Ts+Tec+To)

 Bank More

The Times Square of Dhanbad. Umm, well not necessarily in scale and appearance but certainly in its utility. Bank More is certainly the commercial heart throb of the town, and the hotspot when it comes to food and drink, with due stress on the latter!

 Bhokali

Bhokali(adj.)- Well, not necessarily the brawny guy with long curls that we all remember from Raj comics, but usually someone who has made a mark. Now the definition of ‘mark’ is well, quite exhaustive and can range from securing a foreign intern to scoring the best (of the lot) chick on the campus!

C- Carry

Less frequent than a Suppli (see ‘S’ below), but still frequent enough to make it to this list. Let’s just say, some people like to take it easy in life. The administration understands this fact and co-operates with them completely. Subject achcha nahi laga? Iss saal paas nahi hona chahte? Koi baat nahi beta, agle saal exam de dena!

D- Dhaiyya, Doomer

While the former qualifies as the Official Hangout Zone#2 for the single guys on the campus (with the committed ones being found in the diagonally opposite zone, see R below), especially those in the Sapphire, Topaz and Amber hostel, the latter is the Official Sutta Joint #2.

Dhakkan

Dhakkan literally means ‘bottle cap’. Figuratively, Dhakkan is the last man in his branch, ranked as per our great IIT-JEE system!

E- End-Sems

The most dreaded phrase and phase on the campus. 5 days of hell, every 4 months. But don’t pity us people, we are engineers. Fuck yeah!

Equator

And what’s the most favourite phrase? E-Q-U-A-T-O-R. The nectar-serving heaven which attracts almost every guy and girl of this campus at least once. And for many, much more than once!  Dim lighting, posters of Bollywood classics and bartenders that make you feel-at-home (Sushil bhaiyya \m/), it’s not just a bar, it’s WUNDERBAR!

F-Fame

Ancient single screen theatres, with shabby furniture and rats for company, were the only way for ISMites to enjoy movies on the 72mm screen. Come Fame Cinemas in 2008, and Dhanbad, ISM in particular, has never looked back. Whether it’s bunking the Friday/Monday classes for cheap morning shows or getting those expensive corner couches in the matinee (for a complete ‘cinematic’ experience) everyone just loves Fame.( And those Bollywood movies’ dialogues over every urinal in the washroom, boy that is some hilarious shit!)

Foreign Intern

Basically it’s a go-out-and-fucking-enjoy-your-life thing disguised as an educational ‘achievement’. Yeah right! I know what most guys intend to ‘achieve’ when they are in phoren land. And it certainly can’t be mentioned in their CVs.

Fundae

The birthright of every ISMite. And they shall give it. Your choice doesn’t count!

G- GPL

GPL stands for G***D pe laat- The reason why our generation started believing that a birthday can be a pain in the ass. Literally.

(See how I censored the Hindi slang while I let the English ones go unscathed! That’s how we Indians roll!)

H- Halder

Official Sutta Joint #1. And for a shopkeeper in Tier 2 city, this guy has got quite a sense of sarcasm and humour (Guys sure do remember the posters asking people not to use abusive language or come knocking in after 11pm). Also known for his street fighting skills! All the more reason for him to be here in this list.

I- IIT Dhanbad

An elusive dream, a matter of national debate, an eye sore and a lie that each one of has resorted to at least once in our 4 year stint at ISM/IIT Dhanabd! Sometimes to deceive others, sometimes to deceive ourselves!

ISM Discount

The only other (and better) use of our I-cards is the revered 10% discount. Trust me, it might seem passable, but when the bill runs upwards 10k, that’s one of those moments when you truly feel proud to be an ISMite!

J- Jawaani

The most wasted commodity on the campus.

K- Khokhe

Khokha(n)- A blatant lie/ overly exaggerated rumour, most often told with the idea of gaining 15 minutes of fame.

There’s a famous, though tacit, saying that goes around in the campus- “Sensationalism is my birthright, and I shall have it!”

Karra

Karra(adj.)- Sounds awesome. Means awesome!

Kholu

The opposite of Dhakkan. Mr. Numero Uno. The fool who led others into the hell pit.

L- Lack of girls

Male batch mates- 400+. Female batch mates- Around 30 (Ballpark???). Thus, I rest my case.

Litti-Chokha

I am not supposed to say anything negative about this or the Biharis would kill me. Probably death by suffocation from Litties (I just made up that plural). And chokha. Lots of chokha.

M- Matiyao

Matiyaana(v)- Procrastination to the power 10.

The universal reply to every dilemma/ doubt/ question in ISM. Should I elaborate? Matiyaoooo!

Main Canteen

There are college canteens and then there’s ISM’s main canteen. The great M/s Daffodil’s serves you the (un)freshest food possible in the most (un)courteous manner possible . And with cows and dogs running around playfully, you are sure to never have a dull moment. Your favourite profs are around too, so there ain’t no bitching possible, bitch! If only it wasn’t for Balram bhaiyya and his ‘Maggi ho gaya’, the only people visiting the canteen would be the local school kids and some odd Dhanbadi couples. Talking of them, I really feel sorry for those poor chaps! I mean their hangout zone is our canteen?? LMAO!!

Mani’s

Sasta, (not so) sundar and definitely not tikau either. But, this southie food joint shares an old connection with the ISM campus. Best thing is it remains open even during the times of traditional North-Indian festivals! 😉 😛

Mid-sem

The only joke that admin and students laugh together at.

N- Night-out

Sometimes, it’s just easier to stay awake till the 8am class than to wake up for it!

O- Opal Hostel

First year hostel/ Scene of all the introduction and ISM culture ‘crimes’. Which stopped occurring after we came in second year. Dafuq is the problem with MHRD?

P- Pothebaazi

Pothebaazi(v)– The act of initiating, participating in or encouraging any activity which is so much boring that it rips off people’s testicles(pothe).Literally, of course!

BC and light pothebaazi usually go hand in hand, but some people in the campus have dedicated their lives to the sole purpose of become the deadliest ball-reapers alive on the planet.

Placement

What it all boils down to in the end. Every single sin you ever committed on this campus is washed away in the November Rain (Usually with the aid of a huge ‘dumper’ from CIL!).

Porn/Pondy

Self  XXXplanatory.

Politics aka Poli

That time when everyone starts thinking they are the re-fucking-incarnation of Chankaya, going around playing the ‘satta ka khel’! L.A.M.E.

Q- Question Paper

A fancy name for a potpourri of the last 2-3 years of question papers. Yeah it’s kind of an endless loop!

R- RD

The heartbeat of ISM and the essence of ISM culture. Late Ram Dhani (aka RD) ji’s tea shop is one of those few places in the campus that lets you get out of all the brouhaha attached with engineering, and enjoy a cup of peace and happiness with your friends.

 Ruby Lane

The lover’s lane of ISM Dhanbad. Stays barren during the day but livens up after sunset. I won’t go into further details!

S- Suppli

The ‘Motichoor ka laddoo’ of ISM Dhanbad. Jo khaaye woh pachhtaaye, aur na khaane waala padh padh ke apni marwaaye!

Srijan

It is supposed to be, in fact touted to be the biggest cultural event in all of eastern India’s colleges…….BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Station/Sher-e-Punjab

Yes, one has to actually travel all the way to the Dhanbad station if one’s feeling hungry after 11 in the night. Sooner or later everyone comes to terms with this sad state of nightlife in Dhanbad. And the fact that at Sher-e-Punjab (an average ‘Sardar ka Dhaba’)  you are eating in the same plate that probably a dozen people ate in before, and that the curry has a fair share of the cook’s sweat.

Sutta

Being a teetotaler, I’m not the right person to comment on this, but in the words of one of my smoker friends- “Both cigarette and sex give you a high. But cigarette is better because it’s cheap, readily available and you don’t have to marry the shopkeeper to get a lifetime supply!”

T- T&P

The T&P cell is pretty much like a leap year in that it gets noticed only once in four years(by every batch , that is). And even the peons working there enjoy their 15 minutes days of fame!

U- University (or not)

Sometimes it’s ISM-Indian School of Mines. Other times a U, standing for university, is also attached. And then dropped. And then reattached. Dropped again. Reattached.  To ‘U’ or not to ‘U’…

V- Viva

The day, probably the only day that every professor lives to enjoy, year after year after year. It might actually have been nature’s way of trying to maintain equity, and it might have succeeded too had it not been for our Do-we-care-if-you-insult-us attitude! Don’t tell the poor disillusioned fellas though; they get a lot of juice out of putting us in supposed misery!

 Verma ji

The true ‘nightrider’ of Dhanbad is just a phone call away. His dichotomous life consists of a sane day job while at night he is driving sometimes-drunken-sometime-not lunatics around the town in his auto.

W- Wasted

The state of the boys during the day with all the intoxication going on in the campus during the night.

X- Xerox

Undoubtedly, the most important invention of our generation in terms of its indispensability, especially in an engineering college. On second thoughts, I think pornography would share the honours too.

Y- YB

One year extension of a 4-year long paid vacation called engineering, usually awarded in recognition of an exemplary display of matiyao and bakchod attitude.

Z- Ze End. Ze Fuck Off!

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20 thoughts on “The A-Z of ISM Dhanbad”

  1. Jawaani???? wo kya hota hai???
    aur tu F me funde dena bhool gaya!! 😛
    Aur M me main canteen – the hot spot after RD!!!

    Rest all is Awesome!!!! rofl!!! Yadeein taaza kara di tune…. 🙂

  2. Bitch…where art thou? Is reading ur blogs the only avenue I have to you my sweet lady??
    Come hither sooner.

    P.S-btw, u missed C-Canteen, Chutiyapa

  3. Hilarious !!!
    Accurate description of a typical engineering college. ISM seems to be no exception.
    Can share your sentiments about the plight of affairs there

  4. “dont have to marry the shopkeeper for lifetime supply “….haha naice.
    cant wait for one on MICA, Roxie and Ahmedabad in general

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